Solo Travel: When The Group Chat Trip Flops
From flaked plans to fearless adventures: how solo travel turned fear into freedom and taught me the art of embracing my own company.
Happy New Year!
We’ve all been there—planning a huge group trip that never makes it out of the group chat. You get all hyped, dreaming of sipping mojitos on the beach or eating your weight in pasta, only to realize… it’s not happening. So, what do you do? Do you go anyway, or wait for someone else to commit?
That was me in 2016.
My two friends and I planned this epic trip to Thailand. Then, out of nowhere, I spotted a $400 round-trip flight deal—yes, $400! Naturally, I jumped on it because I thought, “We’re doing this.” I booked my ticket and was ready to go… except my friends flaked. Classic.
Now, I was stuck with a choice: cancel or go alone. I decided to go. But let me be real—I was scared as hell. I was 19, a Black woman, and planning to spend a month solo in Southeast Asia. I didn’t know a single soul over there. How was I going to survive?
Spoiler: It turned out to be the best trip of my life. That experience challenged everything I thought I knew about myself. I learned to enjoy my own company, and I genuinely fell in love with being alone. It was a life-changing experience that laid the foundation for the confident traveler I became.
(photos from one of my very first solo trips in 2016 - I started in Thailand and went to Indonesia and Malaysia. I also went to Europe solo the following year)
Even when I got into a three-year relationship later, I still traveled solo. I refused to wait for anyone to chase my dreams.
Now I’m 27, and while I haven’t solo traveled in a while, the memories I made back then are still some of my favorites. Meeting people from all over the world (I probably have a couple of boyfriends all over the world), partying in different countries, and just being free—it’s something I’m so grateful I did while I was young.
If you’re thinking about solo traveling, here are my tips to get started:
1. Just Do It
The hardest part is booking the trip. Once you commit, the rest falls into place. But hey, don’t go overboard like me and start with a month halfway across the world. If you’re nervous, start small—a weekend trip to a nearby city or a quick getaway.
Do your research. Plan your accommodations ahead of time and learn about your destination—local customs, safety rules, and all that good stuff. Some places have strict rules (looking at you, Singapore, and your no-gum-chewing policy). The more you know, the smoother your trip will go.
2. Stay Safe and Be Mindful
When I traveled solo, I barely drank alcohol—if at all—because I needed to stay aware. When you’re alone, you’re the only one looking out for you. Trust your instincts. If something feels off, leave.
Also, don’t advertise that you’re solo. If people ask, say you’re waiting for someone or meeting up with friends. This can save your life.
3. Make Connections
One of the best parts of solo travel is meeting new people. Some of the friendships I made while traveling are still going strong today. Take local tours, go to museums, or check out social spaces like bars or cafes.
In Lisbon, I wandered into a random bar and ended up meeting other travelers from America—it was such a cool experience. You never know who you’ll meet when you’re open to connection.
4. Embrace the Freedom
(photos from one of my solo trips in 2019 - I did this after I graduated college. I did a month and started in Singapore and went to Malaysia, Japan, and Indonesia. I ended it in LA)
Traveling solo teaches you to be comfortable with yourself. It’s a chance to step back and reflect on what you want in life. Sometimes, we hold on to friendships or relationships that don’t serve us because we’re scared of being alone.
When you learn to love your own company, you stop settling. You become more intentional about the people you let into your life. And the best part? You get to do whatever you want, whenever you want. There’s no greater freedom.
Solo travel isn’t just about seeing new places—it’s about discovering yourself. I hope these tips help inspire you to take that leap and start your adventure. You won’t regret it!